You really coming over, don't trick.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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