Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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