We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
