marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize