She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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