Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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