I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
