Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
