Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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