i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
