i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
