Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
