where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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