hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
