Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
