I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
