Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
