I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
