Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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