You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
