I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize