I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
