that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
it glows. i had to have it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
