if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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