So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
