I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize