FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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