i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
