so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
