And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
This show inspires me to have sex in space
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
