Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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