Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
a search helicopter?!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
