what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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