Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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