I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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