And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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