I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
