I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
