I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
