ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize