Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I understand Curling. That high.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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