shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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