we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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