that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
