just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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