dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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