the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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