Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize