I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
