I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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