Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
