I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
you will always have a special place in my vag
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
