we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
its not stalking. its research.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
