No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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