i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
