So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
