ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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