Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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