My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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