glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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