You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
