Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
