There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
