so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
