can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
