remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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