Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
