Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i think i have herpe
just one?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
