i don't like sucking hair
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
