i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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