I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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