if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
